i was on the highway the other day when i saw a green Honda Accord doing 50 mph in the fast lane. it had its turn signal on, displaying intent to switch lanes and therefore allowing the growing line of cars behind to pass it, but seemed too timid to actually do anything because traffic in the next lane was going too fast. having seen the queue of impatient motorists, i avoided the fast lane and cheerfully passed Green Accord only to have it tear past me three exits later doing twice the speed of sound in the slow lane.
having slowed to an unreasonably low speed again, i caught up to Green Accord a few minutes later and was soon only a few car lengths behind it and closing. i watched as Green Accord, with turn signal blinking wildly, drifted slowly into the next lane like a fat man settling into an enormous bean bag. having successfully switched lanes, Green Accord extinguished its turn signal only to suddenly and inexplicably swerve back in front of me only moments later. fortunately for me, i was able to avoid a rear-end collision by switching lanes and, as i passed Green Accord, took a glance at the clattering idiot behind the wheel.
i’m not sure what i was expecting, but an elderly woman with a weapons-grade scowl was not it.
i hope the recent FBI raids that resulted in the arrests of Christian militants in Illinois, Michigan, Ohio and Indiana will remind people that terrorism comes in all forms. maybe this will give sane Christians in the West a brief taste of the shame and embarrassment sane Muslims must endure at the hands of a few fundamentalist bad apples.
every group’s got their crazies.
to those affected by the suicide bombings in Moscow this morning: may God grant you peace.
Beka gave me a haircut for the first time last night and turned out to be quite a natural. it didn’t take her long to become competent with the electric trimmers and soon she was shaping and sculpting like she’d been doing it for years. it was great! and i saved 12 bucks.
took my first crack at cooking squid last night with the bag of squid rings that i got on sale but accidentally defrosted in the trunk of my car. i wasn’t sure what to do so i tossed in whatever sounded good to me at the time (raw garlic, lemon pulp and a little butter) and had a go with the frying pan on medium heat.
amazingly, i though it actually turned out pretty well. and by “well,” i mean “close to edible.”
oh well, next time.
i came into close proximity to a hipster the other day. as expected, he had comical facial hair to match his terrifyingly bad haircut which, paired with orange shoes, skinny jeans, pretentious film school glasses and colorfully mismatched suit jacket, made him look like the tortured lovechild of Andy Warhol and Sir Elton John. let’s hope he was on his way to buy more ironic t-shirts.
i accidentally let a bag of squid rings defrost in the trunk of my car today. long story.
on my desk, i have a flashlight with old batteries. the flashlight still works fine but is noticeably dimmer than it would be with fresh batteries. it seems like a waste to discard batteries before they are fully discharged but, on the other hand, it seems silly to have a relatively dim flashlight that will only get worse.
so here’s my dilemma: should i change the batteries to restore maximum brightness or should i wait for the existing batteries to further dim?
of all the trees that get drilled by woodpeckers, felled by beavers, invaded by insects or callously hewn to serve the needs of men, i think the ones i feel most sorry for are those that end up as toilet paper in gas station restrooms.
holy crap, i just noticed that i accidentally forgot to turn off my music before i went to the doctor’s office today. apparently, my computer has been blasting Tha Mexakinz through my headphones nonstop for the past five hours.