“MAY CONTAIN SHELLFISH”?!?!
IMMUNITY TWIST TUBES 05.31.2009
LIKE A GERMAN FOREST 05.30.2009
this is what happens when you use online translators.
This has had anything, when you used on-line translator.
This has had; import what then you used on-line translators.
To this is; Was having; That time you as what which uses this on-line interpretation the imported goods.
In this; ? ; It is? It had? This time you since that this used interpretation in the line the imported merchandises.
This? It is that? Does that have? This time it gives on the line, but this explanation which imports sale is used.
This one? Is it this one? Does this one have? Give this mark to the line, but this explanation, which introduces the sale, is used.
This? Also about the remainders different one? This? On this explanation, the point which are imported with the benefit sales, you in accordance with by this line, carries motion but which it arises to side one.
(at round 7 of the World Superbike Championship)
dan: im sitting next to the superbikeplanet guys in the [Miller Motorsports Park] media center!
dan: I’M SHARING A POWER STRIP WITH THE SUPERBIKEPLANET GUYS
dan: OMG WTF BBQ
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BEES 05.28.2009
5:36pm: some idiot in a bright yellow Toyota Corolla makes a sudden left turn into my lane doing 20 mph, forcing me to brake hard to avoid a traffic collision.
6:22pm: stopped behind some idiot in a beige Oldsmobile Aurora in the left turn lane waiting for a break in traffic. light turns yellow, idiot creeps forward and then comes to a complete stop in the middle of the intersection. i start honking until he slowly decides to inch forward and complete the turn with me following close behind.
6:56pm: stuck behind some idiot in a black Chevrolet HHR while he goes 10 mph under the speed limit straddling both lanes. i sound the horn until he finally gets out of the way.
7:08pm: some idiot in a semi cuts me off and then starts tapping his brakes.
I GUESS HE’S STILL NOT TAKING IT 05.27.2009
in a somewhat bizarre twist of fate, i have learned the true identity of ’80s Man: the guy with Twisted Sister hair who is often seen driving around Chicago in a red Ferrari 360 Spider with gold accents that i wrote about back in 2005.
are you ready for this?
his name is Tony Tag and this is his website: FerrariGuyForHire.com
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
THEY’RE FOCAL DISTANCE NUMBERS 05.26.2009
i just realized that i never showed you guys my finished business card so here it is! it’s actually two sets of cards (one for each side) pasted together so this baby is as thick as some coasters.
MARINATED IN SOY SAUCE AND HONEY 05.25.2009
you know what i’d like right now? a big chunk of roasted pork.
TWO MINUTE PENALTY 05.24.2009
Sébastien Loeb’s five rally winning streak came to an end today. What a pity.
DANGEROUS DRUGS ORDINANCE 05.23.2009
you know what would be nice? being able to walk again without sharp pain searing through my left hip with each step. in the meantime, i’ve got my bottle of codeine.
HISTORY AND DISCOVERY 05.22.2009
you know, i kind of miss having cable television.