every year on October 31st, thousands of Asian families across the states draw their shades, lock their doors, and hide in their darkened homes like Polish Jews. the reason? their inability to comprehend why American children dress up in ridiculous costumes and go door to door asking for candy every year as well as why in the world they’re obligated to entertain such a bizarre custom.
The Almighty Apple tried to hijack my computer today by bundling their own nasty little program with some totally unrelated (or so i thought) software that i was installing. the little present was left in an unassuming directory under ‘Program Files’ and almost immediately started pounding my firewall with connection requests like an Imperial Probe Droid trying to send coordinates to the nearest Star Destroyer. unfortunately for me, the little bugger somehow stopped all outgoing connections after i refused to grant it access. i nearly lost it at this point.
after asking a friend to look it up for me (my browser couldn’t connect, remember?), i found a way to safely disable and delete it. ironically, the information came from the source of the very software whose installation started this whole mess. i guess they got too many bomb threats because of it. i called in at least twice myself.
i started playing guitar about ten years ago so i should be pretty good, right? wrong! i suck.
just thought you’d like to know
i want to take the time to express my congratulations to James and Maria on their engagement.
James has been one of my closest friends since we were kids and i’ve had the tremendous pleasure of growing up with him and seeing him tough out all the challenges life has thrown his way.
good luck and Godspeed.
“vasili” strikes again.
vasili: can you tell to me more of mother russia
librarian: 24/7 Librarian has joined the session.
librarian: Hi Vasili!
vasili: hello for you!
librarian: My name is Sam, and I’m a reference librarian with the ******* chat service. Your librarians have asked our librarians to staff this 24-hour service when they are unavailable. I’m reading your question right now to see how I can help you…
vasili: how is you for fine evening
librarian: Can you tell me more about what you’re looking for?
vasili: my papa say he used fight for mother russia
vasili: so i wish know more of mother russia
vasili: can you help to me?
librarian: So you’re looking for some information about Russian history?
vasili: just for the mother russia
librarian: OK. Here is a section of an article about Russia that focuses on the country’s history:
vasili: no no not for country!
vasili: just need for MOTHER russia
librarian: From what I know, they are the same thing.
vasili: my papa say he fight in mighty STALINGRAD
vasili: with very many sons of the mother russia
vasili: so what vasili need knows is WHO the mother russia?
vasili: and why so so many sons??
librarian: Many Russians referred to their country as “Mother Russia” — and the citizens of the country were its sons and daughters.
librarian: The sons would have been soldiers, who fought with your father.
vasili: so…mother russia is russia country?
vasili: who my mother?
librarian: I’m sorry?
vasili: my papa raise me say i only have the mother russia
vasili: but if mother russia is same russia country…
librarian: I’m sorry, I don’t know what he meant by that.
vasili: then who my mama?
vasili: my papa LIE TO ME
vasili: i am going HURT PAPA
vasili: THANK TO YOU SAM
vasili: YOU SHOW ME FALSE STORY
librarian: Perhaps you can ask your father what he meant.
vasili: NO! time make explain is over now!
vasili: I WILL CRUSH PAPA TONIGHT
vasili: I CRUSH WITH STRONG HAMMER OF SOVIET
librarian: Do you have another reference question I can help you with?
vasili: after go i crush my papa
vasili: will you to help find vasili real mama?
Librarian ended chat session.
for whatever reason, the first doctor i saw today was pretty much the only staff member at the clinic that wasn’t familiar with my case. i’m used to going in head first, discussing my problems and getting answers but the first 20 minutes of today’s visit was spent bringing the doctor up to speed which was pretty annoying but at least he was a nice guy.
my usual phlebotomist was also nowhere to be found. she’s eastern European; from the Ukraine, i think. i don’t know her name, but i’ll call her Katya. Katya is very warm and motherly; also, 9 times out of 10, she’s the one that draws my blood at the clinic. i can always relax when Katya is around because she’s extremely adept and i’ve never felt more than a slight sliver of pain with her behind the needle. well, she must have had the day off or something because the woman that gored my arm today was decidedly not Katya. the Katya wannabe–i’ll call her Betty–tied the latex tourniquet so tight around my arm that it left a mark. then, as my arm was slowly becoming a charming shade of magenta, the needle punched through my skin with a fierce burning sensation and i blurted out something stupid like “that hurts quite a lot.” usually i can make small talk while the vials are being filled but the searing pain kept my brain occupied and mouth shut this time. Betty probably wouldn’t have been fun to talk to anyway.
in related news, the doctors started me up on The Medicine again; 100mg every other day. i gotta go back in a week to see if (read: ‘how badly’) my white blood cell count drops. as unfortunate as it is, slow trial and error is the only way they can readjust my dosage. oh well.
i’m not quite sure why i had never noticed this before, but Carlos Ghosn (CEO of Nissan Motor Company and Renault S.A.) looks a LOT like Rowan Atkinson.
as far as national anthems go, the United States’ comes across as a bit wimpy to me. for starters, the title “Star-Spangled Banner” conjures up images of a high school marching band led by an awkward looking 15 year-old girl waving a homemade flag with far too much glitter on it. oh, and they’re at a run-down football field. and it’s dark. and no one else is there.
bad high school memories aside, the Star-Spangled Banner is the only national anthem i know of that started life as a drinking song which might help explain why alcohol abuse is not only fairly common but also socially acceptable here. the Star-Spangled Banner doesn’t inspire me with its music or lyrics, nor does it make me want to cheer, whoop, holler, or make animal noises. rather, it kind of lulls me to sleep until that high note comes near the end and everyone else starts cheering, whooping, hollering, and making animal noises.
on the flipside, enter the Russian and former Soviet Union national anthem. although i don’t understand either of its two sets of lyrics, listening to it doesn’t make me cheer but instead causes me to stand in silent reverence. it also quietly urges me to join the workers’ party and retake Stalingrad for the glory of The Motherland, then relax with a small pot of potato stew and a mug of kvass.
national anthems should do that sort of thing, you know?
after a long hiatus, many instances of “why do you link there if you don’t use it?”, and my recent acquisition of ‘Pro’ level membership (thanks again, Rich), i’ve decided to fire up my old flickr account and update it a bit. now that i’m no longer limited to a certain number of photographs or sets, i’ll be putting a lot more stuff on there and hopefully will receive the comments that i crave so very much.
the new Mugen Fit is absolutely staggering.