well, we’re in Kabul now. but not without incident.

by far, the most annoying bit was being hassled by airport security. the supplies we brought along were thoroughly inspected by friendly TSA agents who decided to confiscate several canisters of pepper spray because we went over the limit. then, upon arrival in Dubai, our boxes were dissected once again and we were bereft of all remaining mace canisters. the latter entanglement delayed us for almost two hours during which we can only assume our names and passport numbers were quietly added to the list of international troublemakers.

the first two international flights (Detroit to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Dubai) went pretty well. the food wasn’t halfway bad and every seat had a personal entertainment screen so i took the liberty of killing some time by losing several hundred rounds of Bejeweled. then, halfway through one of my losses, i was elbowed in the ribs by the guy sleeping in the seat next to me. naturally, i retaliated by calmly and systematically relocating items from his open luggage to the rubbish bin in the aft lavatory.

Dubai to Kabul was another story, however. the airline we took was nothing short of complete ghettoness. my seat didn’t have a solid back, a few of the overhead compartments wouldn’t close and the plane felt like it was barely holding together. surprisingly, the food was pretty good.

Kabul International airport is about the size of a handful of peanuts and as dirty and sweaty inside as one might expect. our boxes of supplies were finally seized and are to be released as soon as the people we brought them for fill out some boring paperwork.

shortly after our arrival, we heard several explosions in the distance. it turned out that they were clearing landmines and were holding a series of controlled(?) demolitions. then i spent about half an hour waiting for my e-mail to load, shot a quick one out to tell some people i had arrived safely, and promptly konked out.

we’ve just arrived safely in Kabul. time for sleep.

Amsterdam!

well, not quite. unfortunately, we didn’t have sufficient layover time to actually leave the airport but i spent a fair bit of time walking around the terminal. at one point, i was sitting in a ‘comfort chair’ drinking a bottle of mineral water with an abominable snowman on the label as a soothing acoustic version of Faure’s Pavane opus 50 played softly overhead.

not quite as exciting as going out on the town but i’ll take what i can get

i’ll be back on August 13th but will be able to post while i’m gone so check back for updates. also, timestamps for posts made from abroad will be in whichever time zone i happen to be in.

am i ready? not in the least. am i worried? a little.

but, somehow, i’m still feeling good about it.

i propose that, from now on, new drivers learn on cars that have their horns hooked up to the brakes. why? because there is WAY too much unnecessary braking going on.

are you people aware that your car will slow down if you just take your foot off the gas?!

where’s a brain when you need it?

the concept of the chili dog sounds pretty good. you’ve got your chili and your hot dog, then mash ‘em together to create something unique and, at least in theory, wonderful. hell, it might even turn out to be delicious if done correctly.

despite all this, however, i am convinced that eating a chili dog is one of the worst things i can do to my body. case in point, i had one a few Saturdays ago and ended up sleeping through two alarms, someone calling my phone–which was beside my bed–to wake me up, and a beeping voicemail alert caused by the same person. quite a feat for one of the world’s lightest sleepers, don’t you think?

so the next time you’re at your favorite diner and you spy chili dog on the menu, give it a little thought or you might wake up 11 hours later in a cold sweat with a heavy burden to unload.

beatrice: did i tell you about my indian coworker

beatrice: whose last name is nagabhushana

ivan: hahaha

ivan: indian, eh?

beatrice: yeah.. i work with a LOT of indians

ivan: you should keep a watergun filled with curry

ivan: to defend yourself

beatrice: no, they would like that

beatrice: they would all flock to me with their mouths wide open

ivan: oh man…

ivan: hahahaha

beatrice: as if i were throwing grapes at them

ivan: i might have to post this

Nike One 2022 at Cathedral Rocks, Yosemite