FROM OUR SUCCESSES  01.31.2006

despite my not so mammoth intellect, i find myself still at the mercy of my brain time after time. one of the most obvious examples of this is procrastination:

    ivan: i should really get this work done

    ivan’s brain: relax, you’ve got two days to do it!

    ivan: but i’ll just end up putting it off until the last second! i don’t want to do that

    ivan’s brain: yes you do

    ivan: okay

i know i need to get stuff done. i TELL myself i need to get stuff done. yet, i invariably end up putting it off for as long as humanly possible. i feel like there’s some sort of fiendish parasite imbedded in my neocortex issuing malicious commands to an all too impressionable stooge.

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MAXIMUM PORTABILITY  01.30.2006

my five favorite beverages in no particular order:

    - iced tea

    - milk tea

    - root beer

    - ginger ale

    - kiwi juice

that is all.

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THRICE AROUND  01.29.2006

i don’t make a habit of being in photographs so i’m always surprised when i see myself in them. i guess for me it’s sort of like the feeling a lot of people get when they hear a recording of themselves: it’s obvious that it’s me but it still completely weirds me out.

happy 4703, everyone.

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POWER BALLADS FOREVER  01.25.2006

lately i’ve been having these sharp stomach pains that happen for no readily apparent reason. i sit here minding my own business when an invisible man suddenly takes his invisible knife and stabs me in the gut. then he laughs his invisible laugh as invisible blood forms an invisible puddle.

then i bolt to the bathroom.

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PROOF OF PATTERN  01.23.2006

a few months ago there was one particular day when thunder rolled and water fell on the lush green mountainsides of the Dominican Republic. it was the first rain we had seen since we arrived and was a welcome break from the hot and muggy days we’d slowly grown accustomed to. it was also, due to lack of modern plumbing, the first chance i had to take anything close to a proper shower since leaving Chicago.

i remember unslinging my cameras, getting into my swim trunks, grabbing my towel, and stepping outside with a big smile on my face. i stood in the middle of the dirt road with arms outstretched like in Shawshank Redemption, eagerly basking in a pleasure so simple that i had long since taken it for granted.

meanwhile, the locals called me loco.

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BRIGHTEN THE BASICS  01.22.2006

check this craziness out: somebody butchered a flatbed scanner and rigged it up to serve as a digital back for a 4×5 view camera! for you “megapixel junkies” out there, this amounts to a little over 115.

it’s amazing what a little ingenuity and a lot of time on your hands can get you.

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