as a kid, i was scared to death by The Wizard of Oz’s lesser-known but infinitely scarier sequel Return to Oz. those of you who saw this as children need no further explanation or elaboration and have my permission to close this window and go weep bitter tears in the corner, but for those of you who haven’t, read on. you must taste my pain.

if you check out IMDB’s entry for this film and read through the user comments, you would see this:

This is clearly not a children’s film, and any parent who lets an impressionable young child watch this film should have his head examined!

I first saw this movie when I was like 4 or 5 and it is easily the single most terrifying memory of my childhood

if i had to give a brief synopsis of Return to Oz, i would most likely just stare at you blankly (while resisting the urge to go weep bitter tears in the corner). it seems that my brain has blocked the majority of those horrible memories save one that has been permanently seared into my mind: that of the vile abominations known simply as “wheelers.”

the wheelers are by FAR the SCARIEST things i have ever beheld TO DATE. imagine the freakiest human being you can. got it? okay, now cut off his hands and feet, replace them with large wheels, and imagine him/her skating along on all fours howling maniacally while brutally killing everything in sight.

NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT?!

i do…

i do…