on my way out of my brother’s neighborhood, we saw a shirtless fat kid who had stopped his bike on a low bridge and was standing at the railing gazing pensively into the distance. “don’t jump,” i jokingly remarked. “don’t do it, man.”

a few hours later, we passed the same bridge on our way back but had to take a detour because the entire area had been sealed off with an ambulance, a few firetrucks, a slew of police vehicles, and a bunch of divers combing the water.

somebody’s probably going to hell for these but they’re good for a laugh.

Jesus videos

as a kid, i was scared to death by The Wizard of Oz’s lesser-known but infinitely scarier sequel Return to Oz. those of you who saw this as children need no further explanation or elaboration and have my permission to close this window and go weep bitter tears in the corner, but for those of you who haven’t, read on. you must taste my pain.

if you check out IMDB’s entry for this film and read through the user comments, you would see this:

This is clearly not a children’s film, and any parent who lets an impressionable young child watch this film should have his head examined!

I first saw this movie when I was like 4 or 5 and it is easily the single most terrifying memory of my childhood

if i had to give a brief synopsis of Return to Oz, i would most likely just stare at you blankly (while resisting the urge to go weep bitter tears in the corner). it seems that my brain has blocked the majority of those horrible memories save one that has been permanently seared into my mind: that of the vile abominations known simply as “wheelers.”

the wheelers are by FAR the SCARIEST things i have ever beheld TO DATE. imagine the freakiest human being you can. got it? okay, now cut off his hands and feet, replace them with large wheels, and imagine him/her skating along on all fours howling maniacally while brutally killing everything in sight.

NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT?!

i do…

i do…

i shot the breeze with a few Streets and Sanitation guys on my way to work today. it seems that someone finally complained about the bridge and the S&S folks were doing a little cleaning. they were very friendly and in higher spirits than i would expect from people who have to remove months’ worth of grime, pigeon remains/feces, and miscellaneous bits of refuse.

i find that nowadays people have a harder and harder time believing in the wholesomeness of strangers. while i can’t blame them (especially when one of them is me), sometimes it’s good to be reminded that there are still people of quality out there who, irregardless of their lot in life, aren’t total jerks.

it may not be a ‘flex, but it’s good enough for me.

time to get my hands on some 120! >:)

congratulations, Ronnie and Spencer!

to the complete imbeciles who brake for no good reason:

WHHHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!

i read the Chicago Tribune today like i do almost every morning and amidst the articles about corrupt city officials (whoa, REALLY?!), manhunts, and idiotic pop culture, there was a story about a body on the Red Line stopping trains early this morning. reading it, the subject matter itself didn’t cause much alarm (i prefer the term “desensitized” to “insensitive,” thanks) so i quickly finished it and moved on to Daley’s nervous attempts to weasel his way out of trouble.

a few hours later, i received an e-mail announcement addressed to the entire Chicago complex regarding an employee whose name i swear i’d seen somewhere before. you know that feeling? i think the French call it presque vu or something. i hate that feeling because it makes me feel stupid. anyway, after a few minutes of trying to figure out where i had seen that name, i gave in to curiousity and read the e-mail.

man…