today i took a few copies of The University newspaper, not to read, but to lay them out on top of a bench so my butt wouldn’t get wet.

ha HA!

for the past few weeks, i’ve been noticing a rattling sound coming from my right shoe. finally fed up, i inspected it last night and found this:

and huddled inside like the frightened elderly, were these:

Napoleon Dynamite is a staggeringly horrible movie and i swear upon the eyes of my unborn children to never finish it.

some crazy fireworks of new years eve caliber went off earlier tonight by the Merchandise Mart. at first, i thought terrorists had finally made it inland but then the fruity lights made me think twice. about the terrorists’ sexual orientation, that is.

anyway, does anyone know what was going on?

the chirpy chatter of morning people is not what i want to hear after waking up at dawn, boarding a train and not having anywhere to sit for half an hour.

so after my all too pleasant morning commute, i bust out of the CTA station to find two staffed banquet tables with a crier shouting “free hot chocolate, no strings attached! courtesy of student government!” to be honest, it kind of cheered me up since it was the first good thing The University’s done for me since, well, forever.

i don’t know what they’ve been smoking, but it sure is strong.

i walked out of class two hours early today because it was rubbish. instead, i took a trip to the Field Museum because i haven’t been there in a couple years.

at one point, i came across a tile map of southeast Asia and the Pacific worked into the floor of the museum.

one of the best ads ever. ever.

i’m going to buy me a Golf now.

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EDIT: for those of you who don’t know, all the dancing in the commercial is 100% real (made possible by Elsewhere, Jay Walker and Bboy Crumbs) and Gene Kelly’s head is masterfully edited onto their bodies.

EDIT #2: for those of you who really don’t know, this is a meticulously crafted recreation of a famous scene from the film Singin’ in the Rain, not just some random musical doof breakdancing in the wet.

if you’re going to expend the time, effort and money to put out a t-shirt, please, take the time to make sure you’re not a complete twit.