tonight marks the end of 2004’s foul reign and signifies the coming of 2005 who promises to deliver peace, love, fortune and real fit honeys unto our lands.

…though its promises are most likely empty and its soul a cavern of lies.

i just finished watching the extended edition of The Return of the King. talk about freakin’ long. they could’ve very easily squeezed in a fourth movie considering how much extra footage they included in the extended editions of the trilogy. they also could’ve done without a lot of the man-crying and man-hugging.

anyway, today is thursday.

big ups to Jane for the awesome gift! i love it!

now if i could only find 620 film…

a 50ºF January in Chicago. go figure, eh?

at Water Tower Place, they bring out these hideous life-size elf figures every Christmas and hang them up by the elevators. i would show you how EVIL they look, but i chose not to take closeup pictures for fear that my beloved camera would be haunted afterwards. my guess is that they’re actual elves that were captured and dipped in wax inside the confines of a satanic circus. they were then painted and sold to an unruly band of pez-dispensing gypsies who eventually made their way to Chicago.

whatever they are, i bet you a hundred bucks that they come alive and fight each other after the place closes.

i’m living in a country thousands of miles away from my own, speaking a foreign tongue and listening to a brand new album put out by a man who’s been dead for almost a decade.

life is funny, isn’t it?

merry Christmas.

’twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not one light was shining, save an optical mouse;
the downloads were steady from the torrents a’seedin’,
the screensaver a bouncing dodecahedron.

young bobby was nestled all snug in his bed,
as hopeful suspicions danced in his head;
what gifts would he get? some toys? maybe cash!
little did he know, st. nick was totally smashed.

santa had taken a shot…or three, or four
of whiskey til drunk, he passed out on the floor;
the elves tried to rouse him. but to their dismay,
he’d chortle, roll over, start weeping and say:

“git offa me, ya li’l stinkin’ pieces a’ coal.
dun’y'know santa’s got things un’r control?”
the elves listened wide-eyed, not making a peep,
“i’ll take’care a’it” and with that, he fell back asleep.

unfortunately for bobby and all children in general,
it was the booze talking during his waking ephemeral;
the elves didn’t know better, so they left him alone,
so there santa slept, on the floor of his home;

this time would be different from past years a’many,
no kids would get presents, not one, not any;
for no reindeer would fly under stars aflicker,
all because santa couldn’t hold his liquor.

i found the above image on my computer just now. i don’t really remember taking it, but it appears to date back to my freshman year in college when i lived in the dormitories. here you can see me and my then-roommates. dead.

happy holidays!

ivan: what’s the temperature over there?

ivan: it’s -9°C here

Tricia: 34 deg cel

ivan: whaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tricia: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

that is it. i’m moving to Singapower* Singapore!