random things i remember from my childhood:

- getting in trouble for swearing in first grade. i had no idea what it meant, i was just trying to learn english and was quoting a classmate out loud. bastard. (no, that wasn’t it.)

- going to the Shedd Aquarium, watching a diver jump in to feed the sharks and wondering whether he was the food or if he was just doling it out.

- watching, pointing, and laughing at the guys who drove little carts around the runways at airports.

- wanting to grow up as fast as i could.

i was at a local food-dispensing depot when the cashier asked for my first name. “we’ll call out your order either by your name or number,” he remarked. “okay, it’s ivan,” i said. “I-V-A-N”. as the man slowly typed in my name using two index fingers, i noticed that he was desperately trying to grow a respectable mustache but doing rather poorly.

then, after a while, i heard my order number called. i went up to retrieve my food and noticed this:

I-V-A-N!!!

a few scattered pictures from the eclipse if you missed it.

what’s worse than your house catching on fire?

doh.

not sure who to credit for this, so i’ll credit Tai-Chi because he’s…well, he’s Tai-Chi. anyway…

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

haha, that made me laugh.

remind me to never watch another horror movie ever again.

survey time! (courtesy of le cool JR)

1. if you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?
2. if you had offspring, what would be one contender for his/her name?
3. reach the nearest book and turn to page 37. what does line 7 say?
4. how many hours of sleep do you average per night?
5. salt or sugar?
6. how many pimples do you currently have on your face?
7. what is one trait that you admire (doesnt have to be a so-called favorite) and why?
8. quote any reasonable length of lyric from a song you like.
9. do you journal (in any form or discretion)?
10. make up your own question (and answer it too)

leave your answers in the comments box, please.
(or if you’d like, write it in blood and send it to your local police chief.)

behold: the official car of the Chicago public school system.

somewhat fitting, if you ask me.

no reply. i think they’re on to me.

oh well, twas fun while it lasted.