ladies and gentlemen, i regret to inform you that Sparky the lovable praying mantis (whom i had only met the night before) passed away early this afternoon shortly after hanging upside down for hours on end while excreting some sort of mucus from its head.

oh, Sparky. i remember that time i was taking pictures of you and you stared straight into the lense, got pissed and made a flying lunge for my face. i also recall the time you feigned friendliness towards Andrey only to make a flying lunge for his face. and last but not least, i smile when i reminisce about the time you made the second flying lunge for my face in seven minutes.

good times, Sparky. good times.

introducing Sparky the praying mantis!

bum bah buh bum bum!

so there’s this lanky white kid in one of my classes who’s kind of annoying. in addition to his a whiny, high-pitched voice, he punctuates each inane statement he makes with the words “awesome” and “yes”.

“what am i listening to? Ghostface Killah! he’s so good! awesome! yes!” were the first sounds i heard as i entered the room. my eyes sank a little deeper into their sockets while he continued. “Ghostface Killaaaaaaah!” he sang in falsetto (i think) as he pranced about like a drunken fairy. then he began babbling on and on about something to do with iguanas and how he likes riding his bike really fast.

oh, how i’d enjoy smiting him.

today i saw a jaywalker barely escape death by semi. then not five minutes later, i saw a cement truck that was this close to backing over some lady because she decided to walk right behind it.

i wonder how many absent-minded idiots were weeded out in Chicago today.

i got my hands on a few Calvin and Hobbes books the other day and i’ve been reading through them over the weekend. after all these years, it still saddens me that Bill Watterson decided to stop drawing the strip. i more or less grew up on this stuff and it’s probably affected me in more ways than most people would like to know. i will never stop enjoying these. ever.

money is a horrible, horrible thing.

i’ve found a new hobby: collecting transit tokens.

anyone have any laying around?

so i was walking down the street when i passed two old guys talking to each other while a Pomeranian sat on the table between them apparently moderating the conversation. shortly after i walked past, i heard “dat a cute-ass dog!” come from behind. i took a quick glance over my shoulder and saw two black girls skipping down the street. “hey, there’s Lionel,” one of them remarked. i didn’t really think much about it.

suddenly i noticed that they had upped their pace and were now abreast of me. then one of them started walking really close to me, like she was going to pick my pockets or light my camera bag on fire. naturally, i become increasingly annoyed by her presence and began varying my pace in an effort to lose her. sure enough, she slowed when i slowed and sped up when i sped up until i became impatient with her stupid little game and shot her my best “i will crush you with the gravity of a thousand suns” look. as soon as i did, she stopped wide-eyed, exclaimed “OH” with a slight gasp and timidly backed off. apparently it turned out that i wasn’t Lionel.

what kind of name is that anyway?

remind me to try this sometime.