after getting off the subway today i saw a rather large woman ahead of me headed for the same escalator. assuming that heavyset individuals tend to A) displace more air on average and B) remain still when no movement is required, i upped my pace from a brisk trot to a near sprint in hopes of passing and therefore avoiding being stuck behind her.

you know how Indiana Jones always manages to squeeze through rapidly descending stone doors with just enough time to grab his trusty hat? well, that was me (sans said hat). i barely managed to leap past her onto the escalator just as she closed in, threatening to smear me betwixt bulk and brushed steel.

then, as i was double-stepping my way up, i glanced back and saw that my actions were justified. for there she was, plugging up the escalator while picking her nose as a dozen or so people cleared their throats and checked their watches.

suckers!

there are a lot of weirdos in the art college. for instance, one of the girls in my class makes it a point to dress like a gypsy everyday and wears heelless (snapped off) high heels. other classmates include the kid who wears flannel suits with moccasins and the world’s most easily offended girl who has the personality of an incredibly self-centered avocado.

then there are the purposely open-ended assignments. while this isn’t a bad thing, the in-class critiques sometimes are. it’s not enough that you have to convey the feeling of happiness using only abstract line forms, you also have to come up with some BS explanation for your work and then listen to your classmates as they drone on about how your “art” “speaks to their souls.”

…yeah.

art is different from business. yessir.

Greek people are freaking crazy. they fenced off Greektown for the weekend and have been dancing for hours!

dizzang.

well, my ipod auction ended last night and it’s heading to a new home somewhere in the magical realm of Cleveland.

in less exciting news, my ex-Soviet manufactured Zenitar 16mm f2.8 fisheye lense came in today from the Ukraine. however, i have yet to try it out because my M42-Nikon adapter (with optical correction!) is still on its way from Kiev.

speaking of lenses, i have two Nikon mount zoom/macros i gotta move if anyone’s interested (doubtful, but it’s worth a try). i’ve got an Albinar 70-210mm f3.9 and a Kalimar 80-200mm f3.9. both are manual focus, in perfect working order and in superb cosmetic condition.

on account of my brother being in San Francisco for the weekend, i got to drive to school today. hoo-rah!

if there’s one thing annoying about driving in the city, it’s finding parking. i spent a good half hour circling about the near west side looking for an open spot and FINALLY found one on the 1200 block of Van Buren. i slid fluidly into the space and exited the vehicle rather pleased with myself. then as i glanced around, i noticed that all the cars surrounding mine had had their windows smashed into wee glass bits and their valuable(?) contents stolen. so…i got back in the car, pulled into a university parking structure and decided to ditch class because i had already missed a good chunk of it.

then as i was entering one of the buildings, some random girl tried to squeeze into my revolving door compartment to reap the fruits of my labor and i ended up accidentally slamming the door into her and momentarily pinning her between the glass. ha HA! served her right.

today i had one of those “oh weird” moments. in class, i overheard a few people talking about some guy who they said rides a teal moped around campus. then a few hours later as i’m leaving one of the buildings at a relatively obscure exit, i just happen to see a (the?) teal moped parked right outside. well, i thought it was weird.

anyway, i went to sign up for a locker in one of the art buildings so i don’t have to lug everything around with me and it was a really unpleasant experience. the girl womanning (personning?) the locker desk (which was situated inside a woodshop studio for reasons unknown) was one of the surliest, most nonchalantly unhelpful people i’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with. i hope she goes home, makes instant noodles for dinner and finds her life mildly unsatisfying.

today in AD170 we watched a French surrealist film made in the 20’s by some very obviously troubled individuals. it made me angry and confused.

today was a bad day.

Anthropology 101 | TR @ 2:00-2:50pm, W @ 3:00-3:50pm
large class. largely boring, that is. i amused myself with my PDA for most of the time and only looked up when the professor (for some great reason, no doubt) uttered the words “vials of monkey shit” and elicited laughter from all but one person in the cavernous room. after the simian guffaws finally died down, he commenced prattling on about anthropological whatnots as i skillfully lost several more rounds of solitaire.

Art and Design 102 | TR @ 4:00-6:40pm
this is pretty much the only class i have this semester that worries me. why? because it’s a drawing class and i couldn’t even draw water if my life depended on it. the instructor somewhat resembled a young Brent Spiner with a poorly kept beard but was nowhere as articulate as our favorite pale android. at any rate, i think i’m required to buy about three thousand different types of pencils for this class. oh, and an eraser as well. just one.

hump day cometh!

Art History 110 | MWF @ 12:00-12:50pm, R @ 1:00-1:50pm
rather boring. the professor made several subtle references to his personal history of substance abuse and general malcontent towards the concept of political correctness in between shoddily prepared slides of paleolithic art. the textbook is about the size of a small Kazahkstani town and costs about the same. luckily for me, however, the very awesome Jane Chao pulled through yet again and hooked me up with her copy. score!

Art and Design 170 | MW @ 4:00-6:40pm
this class turned out to be pretting interesting, actually. the full name of the course is “Introduction to Time-Based Visual Arts” which i can only imagine is fancyspeak for “we’s gonna do stuff on dis ‘ere macintosh.” our instructor looks like an older, infinitely more fatigued version of Seth Green and aside from making a couple of rather poorly-timed quips concerning deadlines (ironic, i know), turned out to be a pretty together guy after all.

tomorrow shall be tuesday.

another semester of college begins tomorrow, this one being my fifth, surprisingly. to be honest, i never really thought i’d make it this far. it’s like i should be in a gutter somewhere weeping softly in the moonlight.

anyway, at this time i’d like to express my ever-mounting frustration concerning my living arrangements for this year:

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thank you