i took a trip down (bad) memory lane today when i stopped by one of my elementary schools to have a looksee. everything was a lot smaller and cleaner than i remembered. some kids were playing “baseball” by throwing one as hard as they could against the brick wall of the school and then running around. i guess it’s safe to say that the kids haven’t gotten any brighter.

so i finally got a working DVD player for the TV! nice.

i like movies.

for reasons unknown, someone at work still uses dialup to connect to the internet. it’s not like we don’t have broadband here. it’s 2004, the entire building is networked together and we all have high speed internet access. 2wire.com clocked me at 37090.9kbps for crying out loud. that’s more than 37mbps! so riddle me this, lady:

why in the WORLD am i still hearing “REEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKSSSHHHHKKBAMAOBAMAOKKHHHHH”?!

i rode in an american taxi for the first time today.

goodbye, Blogger.

helloooooo Moveable Type!

i just switched so give me some time to work a few bugs out and improve upon the layout a bit. this page will be under construction over the next week or two so bear with me.

there’s an older Hispanic woman here at work that almost acts like a mother to me. she’ll come in and say hi and will make the effort to let me know anytime there’s free food available in the office. she’s so friendly. she is le bomb.

it’s some girl’s birthday today so there’s a whole bunch of food out. right now i’m eating the spiciest guacamole i’ve ever tasted. it’s oh so good.

those Latinos sure know how to party. ohhhhh yeah!

i produced one long, continuous peel from a tangerine today. it was great. i was so happy, i could hardly breathe. then, after i was done rejoicing in my triumph and patting myself on the back, i bit into the succulent fruit.

to discover that it was rotting.

YUMMEH

one of the things i like to do here at work is brush my teeth. while this may sound like a bizarre ritual comparable to eating during surgery, i assure you that it’s WAY better than getting muffin crumbs in someone’s chest cavity. for those of you in the work, try it out sometime if you haven’t already. for those of you in the learn, study hard so you too can someday get a job during which you can scrub your bicuspids. “it’s THAT GREAT!”

off to the bathroom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxt9bJ8ihio

WARNING: THE LINK ABOVE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK.

SECOND WARNING: THE PERSON IN THIS VIDEO MAY BE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SEVERAL ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, EXTREMELY POTENT HALLUCINOGENS.

YET ANOTHER WARNING: IT WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE LAST FOUR MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE BACK. I ALREADY TRIED ASKING.

LAST ONE, I SWEAR: AGAIN, I’D LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY POST-VIEWING LOSS OF BRAIN CELLS OR WILLS TO LIVE.

i tried to sleep in this morning but ended up waking at 6:00. then 7:00. then 7:30. 8:00. 8:40. 9:00. 9:45. ugh. my internal alarm clock keeps on pushing the snooze button on me! next time this happens, i’m just going to rip out my batteries and throw myself across the room. that’ll teach me.

the weatherman says it’s nothing but thunderstorms for today.

there’s this building that i always walk past on my way to/from work that never fails to spark my curiousity. it seems like your typical brick warehouse/factory/office on the west side. drab and unkempt, there are no signs or labels on any of the doors or walls. the only thing i can see through the windows are the backs of tattered office chairs and some well worn desks.

anyway, everytime i walk past it in the mornings, i hear the loud, obscene chirping of what can only be described as A SPLEENLOAD OF BIRDS. i don’t know WHAT they’re doing (partying) or WHY they’re chirping so loudly (drunk) but i’d sure like to know if i was working next to a slaughterhouse. mmmm…chicken.

so after nine hours of hell, i emerge from my dank, moldy cubicle and crawl towards a series of long metal boxes that eventually send me home. on the way, i pass by the same building again but it’s always dead silent. i guess the chickens either passed out or were mercilessly butchered for meat.

man, i got a hankerin’ for wings.