there was this woman on the subway this morning and she was wearing a pastel pink (or if you prefer, lightish red) hardhat! how weird is that? incidentally, today also marks the first time i’ve ever seen a female construction worker. if i was a feminist, i’d probably say something about how far women have come and rant on about equality this and equality that. but since i’m not, i’ll just say this: meh.

i sat on the subway today, which was weird because i almost always stand (unless i’m making another Loop-O’Hare run on the Blue Line). i plopped myself down in one of the sideways seats across the aisle from some white guy. then at the next stop, this black dude sat down next to me. now all we needed was a Latino next to the white guy for a CTA diversity poster. he never showed. oh well.

my third and final observation for today is this: the L is a prime farting zone. i know some of you are snickering, so stop it. farting is a natural bodily function and everyone from senior citizens to supermodels does it. back to the subject at hand, subways are great for cheese cutting for the following reasons:

1. it’s noisy - people can’t hear faint noises, thus relieving you of hold-it-in or silent-but-deadly obligations.
2. it’s crowded - while this may be viewed as a reason to not fart on the subway, the bottom line is this: they may have smelt it, but they know not who dealt it.
3. it already smells - if you’ve ever taken an american subway, you know that they smell and more often than not, the stations also reek of urine and other unpleasant odors. with that in mind, there’s a good chance your gas will go unnoticed.

someone remind me to buy an army surplus gas mask next time i’m up on Belmont.