i’m listening to the “Last of the Mohicans” theme song right now. have you ever heard it? it’s inspiring.

“inspiring” meaning that i envision a troop of snobby Frenchmen in stately garb doing Russian dances.

inspiration is then overtaken by rage and i feel an overwhelming urge to tear through the nearest forest brandishing an axe and musket to slay said dancers…not because they are French, but simply because they are dancing.

well, i redesigned. what do you think? do you like this better? feedback, please.

typical e-tard habits.

TYPING IN ALL CAPS
HEY EVERYONE I LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IT’S SO COOL AND IT GETS MY POINT ACROSS WITHOUT HURTING READERS’ EYES. I KNOW THERE IS A BUTTON AND CORRESPONDING LIGHT ON MY KEYBOARD THAT READS “CAPS LOCK” BUT I’M WAY TOO COOL TO TURN IT OFF BECAUSE TYPING IN CAPS IS THE BOMB!!!

TYPING LIKE A BABY WHO DESERVES A GOOD KICKING
hEWwoOo~~ iShN’t DiS kEWlLllLL??? Ai KIn ShOuND LYkE a cOmPWETe eEdiUt bYe JuSH pURpisHlY MiShPeLLiNg eVwY sHiNGle woId N’ cAPtalishINg WAndoM LetTos~ aI’m GuNna kYilL maiSheLF nOwieEE~~ sHo KeWLLllLLlL!!!11!1

USING “1337″
dUd3, 1 4m go1n9 +O HaX0R J00r bOx0r !! MuH@Ha! pHE4R me! I 0wNZOR J00 !! 1′m P@theT1c aND i W@n+ +O D1E !! $0M3oNe pU+ me OUT oPh my 1337 mi$Ery x(

NOT MAKING ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER
sweet shiet dogg thankz for gaving me all those info lol so much hellp imight be going bak soon n e ways yeah uhm whatevers u sound so fakin nerdy u car nerdy lol n e ways taiwan ppl’s car sound good but they don’t have like fat exhaust u noe why i don’t htink it’s only teh intake n eways yeah

think of the children…THE CHILDREN.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! oh yeah, and happy thanksgiving too.

i saw a man last night on the subway. middle-aged, fat and white. he obviously had some sort of mental condition because he kept on talking to himself and laughing. a loud, belly-rumbling guffaw.

he was happy, i’ll give him that. never in my subway experiences have i seen a fat, middle-aged, white man so joyous as he.

i think at least four people in the car wanted to hurt him. i don’t blame them though, such exuberance should not go unpunished.

oh yeah. i also saw this guy whose right hand was significantly smaller than his left. it was weird.

my shoes work fine for the first few hours of walking. after that, my shoelaces undo themselves about every 20 minutes. it makes me angry. i thought about converting them to velcro but then i realized that it would only reconfirm my apparent retardation.

this is for all you e-tards out there infesting the internet.

THERE, THEIR and THEY’RE
THERE: we are going THERE for our picnic. THERE we will bury you.
THEIR: THEIR butler bit me. i kicked THEIR baby.
THEY’RE: THEY’RE coming for you. THEY’RE going to curbstomp you.

YOUR and YOU’RE
YOUR: YOUR house is on fire. YOUR singing sucks.
YOU’RE: stop what YOU’RE doing. YOU’RE asking for a beatdown.

TO, TOO and TWO
TO: he wants TO do that. i’m going TO kill you.
TOO: it’s TOO late now. he wants to kill you TOO.
TWO: it’s almost TWO in the morning. you have TWO seconds to live.

LOSE and LOOSE
LOSE: i’m going to LOSE my lunch. you’re just going to LOSE.
LOOSE: your head screws are LOOSE. the killer is LOOSE.

UNDERSTAND?!

i just realized that my watch stopped at approximately 6:43pm on the 21st. at first i thought that the battery had finally died (been running on the same one for i dunno how many years) but upon closer inspection, the time-setting pin on the side had been pulled out!

puzzled, i pushed the pin back in and the second hand immediately sprung back to life, resuming the wrong time. i pulled the pin back out and adjusted the watch about two and a half revolutions to the current time (1:30pm). satisfied with my solution, i returned to my regularly scheduled activities until i realized that it was the 23rd and not the 22nd, which i had previously thought while setting the time.

yeah, absent-minded me. anyway, i was thinking…they should make crack-smoothies. it would be a far more inconspicuous way to consume cocaine. probably would feel a lot better too, as opposed to the usual snort-til-your-nose-bleeds method. drugs are so exciting.

360 degrees of panoramic goodness from the top of a parking garage at The University.

enjoy and let me know what you think!

(i know the quality isn’t great. i just didn’t want to post a +900k image)

stupid.